Mary - Review "Beowulf"

I have no idea what's happening here

It’s a book that

a)     Sounds insanely cool!

b)    Includes warriors and battles and giant monsters!

c)     Is written in pig-latin

I think they are either fighting or falling in love here

Let’s get something straight – I thought I would LOVE Beowulf. Until I read the first page. Then it was all downhill from there. Don’t read it unless you HAVE to, a phrase which here means “you have no access to Sparknotes.”

A crazy man is playing dolls. JOY. 

Beowulf is hard to understand, and that’s putting it lightly. Furthermore, the main character is a braggart and freakin’ annoying. He has virtually no flaws, so he’s impossible to relate too. And then he dies in the end, which was actually the only good part. He dies KILLING the monster though. Which, I know, only from reading Sparknotes, because the book was too hard to actually understand. Now, ya’ll might thing I’m being ridick, which is cool talk for “ridiculous.” Yeah, so I’m no Shakespearean professor. But, I DO read at a graduate school level, despite the fact that I’m only a sophomore in high school. (According to Lexile scores and, well, the books I actually read.) But even I couldn’t endure the wrath of the original translation of Beowulf. I’ve heard that there’s easier versions out there, so you might as well go for it, but Beowulf is about as coherent as a fast talking salesman on Black Friday.

Pretty dayum sure that's Angelina Jolie. In Beowulf? Don't be fooled. 

Rory, you must have the patience of the saint. This book sucks.

XOXO,

Mar

P.S. WATCH THE MOVIE! I hear there's lots of cute actors + Angie Jolie!!! :) <3